Fleas versus the Paris Opera

Actual size of New Zealand fleas

 

 

When I was 27, I left my oscillating dance career to serve a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Several months earlier, I was living and dancing in New York City. When I left New York, I thought I was returning to my native Utah to marry my boyfriend. But when I returned, my boyfriend had decided his dating days were not quite over. Several months later, I made the decision to serve a mission. After making this decision, I was concerned others might think I was running away from a broken heart. (Admittedly, running away was a part of the equation!) When I shared my concerns with my ecclesiastical leader, he replied, "It doesn't matter." I don't know if he meant: it doesn't matter what others think or it doesn't matter because regardless of the reason of wanting to serve, the decision to serve a mission is still a good idea. So, I made preparations to leave. Besides running away, I did have other- more benevolent reasons for wanting to serve. I had found peace in Christ's teachings and I wanted to share that peace with others.

Opéra National de Paris

 

 

 

 

After serving in New Zealand for 6 months, I received a letter from my friends in the 

Nikolais/Murray Louis Dance Company. They were dancing at the Pairs Opera- one of the most famous opera houses in the world! I was jealous and discouraged. I was living in a flea invested basement flat, wearing a navy blue skirt and riding a bike around town! Ugh! My life was definitely not the seemingly glamorous life my friends were living- dancing at the Paris Opera! After receiving their letter, I was at a low point. Straight-away, I did the only thing I could think to do: I went into the bathroom and knelt beside the green fiberglass bathtub and prayed. I cried, "Dear Heavenly Father, is dancing all that bad? I don't get it. I feel so sad." After several moments of pouring out my heart to God, the following thought came to my mind: "If...if you truly want to be like Jesus Christ- this is the way." And so I was taught. Of course, dancing is praiseworthy and a gift from God. And yet, for me, coming to know my Savior required me to serve and share His teachings.

Since returning from my mission 25 years ago, my main goal in life has been to become more like Jesus Christ. I'm grateful for the ecclesiastical leader that saw beyond my immediate heart-break and understood when we serve our Savior, we come to know Him and desire to be more like Him. It's been years since my mission in New Zealand, and I'm far from being like my Savior. Consequently, I will continue to find ways to serve Jesus Christ and learn of Him. He is my exemplar, my master, my brother and my friend. 

Me and my missionary hair, 1993

"If thou hadst been here, my brother had not died."

Stephanie, my oldest sister, was found lifeless on the floor of her apartment on Dec. 25, 2018. In the days following, my younger sister would text me and say: "What if I would have done this... or that...maybe Stephanie would still be alive."

When death or tragedy strike, all of us wonder "what if..." or "only if...". We can't do that to ourselves. We are not omniscient. And no one is to blame. Life happens- good things and bad things; sometimes because of our choices, but most of the time, because we live in a very imperfect world with imperfect people and circumstances.

And so how do we make sense out of nonsensical situations? Sometimes we don't find the answers straight-away. But sometimes, glimpses of truth break through the nonsense and heartache. I had one of those moments today.

Today was our "Stake Conference". It is a worship gathering of all of the members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints congregations here in our Nor Cal community. One of the speakers was Sister Linda Hunt. She and her husband, President Truman Hunt preside over all of the missionaries serving in the California, San Jose mission. Sister Hunt recounted the description of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead found in the New Testament Book of John. In the record of John, we learn when Jesus heard of Lazarus' sickness, he didn't rush to his side straight-away. In fact, Jesus lingered in another city for several days. He told his disciples- "Our friend Lazarus sleepeth; but I go, that I may awake him out of sleep." With a sigh of relief, His disciples offered: "Lord, if he sleep, he shall do well." They didn't understand the Savior was speaking metaphorically. "Then said Jesus unto them plainly, Lazarus is dead."

John's account shares how both Mary and Martha, Lazarus' sisters share a sentiment we all have when sadness comes..."if only, what if..." "Then said Martha unto Jesus, Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died." Jesus replies: "Thy brother shall rise again." Martha assumed Jesus was speaking of the resurrection- which is true in part. But Jesus was also speaking of in this life, immediately, before the resurrection. The Savior- Jesus Christ, their family friend was going to raise Lazarus from his death of four days! Sister Hunt in her retelling of this account shared: Mary and Martha were seeing with their natural eyes- what they saw in front of them, then and there- Lazarus was dead. But Jesus Christ is omniscient and knew the full story- the eternal story. Lazarus would rise and live that very day.

My epiphany came when I realized I had been seeing with my "natural eyes" in contrast to the Savior's eternal perspective. Said He, "And I am glad for your sakes that I was not there, to the intent ye may believe." If Jesus didn't allow Lazarus to die, no miracle would have been performed that day. Like Lazarus, Stephanie's death came as a trial, but it also provided an array of seemingly small yet extraordinary miracles and tender mercies-- "to the intent ye (I) may believe." Stephanie will not be raised from her death today, but she will rise again. My miracle wasn't the raising of Stephanie's body four days after her death. My miracle was in the witnessing of the goodness of family, friends, strangers and the healing of hearts. Possibly, the greatest miracle is in my increased desire to trust in God and follow the Savior.

"For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known." 1Corinthians 13:12

Stephanie Kathryn Tracy, Jan 27, 1963 - Dec. 25, 2018

Jennifer Thompson Sandke, Jan. 29, 1974 - Mar. 17, 2018

Royal Kent Walker, Feb. 28, 1941 - Sept. 1, 2017

 

Top 10 Lessons Learned on Our Road Trip to San Diego

 

Last weekend, we drove south with Max to see Les Misérables at the San Diego Civic Center . It was his Christmas present/this is all you get Senior trip. It was a grand time! Here are The Top Ten Lessons Learned on Our Road Trip to San Diego:

Lesson One: Bring duct tape along. You never know when your car will start falling apart at 80 miles an hour.

Lesson Two: Pack a skirt made of neoprene. (wet suit material) It won't wrinkle, it holds in your belly before and after road trip eating and you can be at peace if you get thrown in the ocean at La Jolla Cove. (skirt larger than appears in photo)

Lesson Three: Blame the person next to you. When playing a game of Jenga and you knock down all of the blocks and the sound reverberates for miles around, have your husband or son close by.

Lesson Four: Eat every possible meal at Snooze AM Eatery. There are locations in Colorado, California, Arizona and Texas!

Lesson Five: Hula Hoop BEFORE your 1,500 calorie breakfast.

Lesson Six: Bring an intriguing novel, so you are oblivious to the LA traffic your husband is attempting to navigate.

Lesson Seven: It is possible to eat your way through So Cal.

 Lesson Eight: Do not buy Gelato two doors down from a cigar shop.

Lesson Nine: Those $80 Les Miz tickets really cost $1,000 after California Hotel tax!

Lesson Ten: There are glimpses of Heaven on earth. I ran into my first mission companion in the San Diego, CA temple. She was standing at the foot of the stairs, with her striking black hair spilling onto her white dress--an angel. It has been 25 years since our first meeting in Auckland, New Zealand. President Lloyd (our mission president at the time) told Sister Hamon to teach me Maori. I didn't learn much Maori, but I did learn about service, devotion and love.

Thank you, Max! Thank you for being born, melting our hearts with your laugh and smile, being the kind of man I would want your sisters to marry, enduring the not so smooth ride in the Geo Prizm, continuing your education both formal and informal and for allowing your cheesy mother to write about it!

Spring Has Sprung 2018

 Sarah came home for Spring Break and we took a trip to the Oakland Museum of Art and LOVED the Hip Hop Exhibit!

 Natalie and the rest of the tribe tried their hand at Graffiti 

 Graffiti is one of the elements of the Hip-Hop movement. One Hip-Hop artists said, "Hip Hop is the greatest life hack. We danced in the street because we didn't have access to ballet lessons. We spray painted abandoned buildings because we didn't have a canvas, we created our own music because we didn't have music lessons.."

 Max and Sarah deciding what to create

 

4 out 5 of my Hip-Hop Artists

 

 "Hip-Hop began as a cultural response to the ongoing political struggles of disenfranchised communities..."

 Another Spring time adventure- Sadie's Sunday School teacher; Brother Sheranian had a back yard brownie party! Holding baby Eleanor was a bonus!

 Natalie's last track meet of the season with LoLo, Grace and Lorenzo!

 Sister Anna Lloyd and Sister Young are celebrating spring with a visit to Colonel Sanders Original Kentucky Fried Chicken

Even Colonel Sanders needs to have his own copy of The Book of Mormon

Bring it on- 2018!

Like most of you, twenty-seventeen (and the first week of twenty- eighteen) brought the bitter and the sweet. My mother lost her husband of forty-one years, we've lost several members of our church congregation, the president and prophet of our church, Thomas S. Monson left this earth on Tuesday evening and just yesterday, we discovered our angel friend, Susanne Harwood passed away. The sweet include: Sarah returning home from her mission, Anna leaving to serve a mission, Hailee, my youngest sister, bringing another bright life into this world and our health and finances continuing to sustain our needs. One may think, "Okay, Susan- your "sweet" list is nice, but look at your "bitter" list, so much death, so much sorrow." I agree- a lot of sadness. But my joy outweighs my sorrow because of the hope in Jesus Christ. Because of Jesus Christ, my family and friends will live again. And when it is my turn to leave this magnificent world, I will be able to hug, "high-five" and laugh with them. Because Jesus Christ was resurrected, all of us (believers and non-believers, bond or free) will be resurrected too. We can have joy in this life because He showed us how to live. In the midst of our sorrow, we can have hope--hope in Jesus Christ. The Psalmist was spot on when he said: "Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning." So bring it on 2018!!

Here some pictures of our sweetness and joy on the first day of 2018!

For the beauty of the earth

For the beauty of the skies

For the joy of human love

Brother, sister, parent, child

 

  Friends on earth and friends above 

Lord of all, to thee we raise

This our joyful hymn of praise

Get Up

A few months ago, a sister in my church congregation shared a story of when she was a young mother. She related the experience of having a series of unfortunate events and then... she entered her laundry room. She took one look at her laundry pile and collapsed right in the middle of the unwashed mountain. Either vocally or in her mind she cried out for help from her Heavenly Father. She was feeling overwhelmed, unable to accomplish all that she had before her. I don't know how long she cried out before the thought came to her: "Get Up." Having that thought, she realized that God knew her heart (and her mental condition!) If He would have directed her to "go do your laundry" or "separate the lights clothes from the dark clothes" that may have been too much. He simply directed her to: get up. I like that. Baby steps. Line upon line, precept upon precept, one foot in front of the other. Simply--get up.

My stepfather passed away on September 1st, a Friday. My mother, his high school sweetheart and wife of 42 years got up the next morning and started taking care of funeral arrangements. The following day, a Sunday, she got up and went to church all by herself. She was the first in her congregation to get up and share her feelings of the teachings of Jesus Christ. She is my hero. She continues to get up in spite of the unknown, loneliness and grieving.

 
Paula, my best friend from college came to my stepdads viewing. I recognize her attendance was more than social protocol. This was Paula getting up. Paula's mom passed away just a year ago. I'm positive that Paula would give anything to sit in her favorite chair in their living room and visit with her mother just one more time. Attending a viewing would only bring that painful memory to the surface. But, Paula got up. And in her getting up, she strengthened me and I was able to get up today.

I am grateful to all of you that get up in spite of doubts, fears or heartache. You inspire me. May we all hear and heed the voice to get up, go forward, one foot in front of the other and conquer that mountain of fear, doubt, heartache or... laundry.

Mom and Kent's children. We are missing Stephanie

Pallbearers, sons and grandsons

Kyle- my brother and Kent's son. Dallas- my nephew and Kent's grandson

We're Gettin' The Band Back Together!

The band hasn't played together for about 2.5 years! So, this summer has been an unique experience. We had a Lloyd family reunion scheduled for late July in Heber, UT. I took advantage of the timing and flew out a few days early to reconnect with some beautiful souls before my family followed in the "still kickin' it" 1999 Plymouth Voyager!

 

 I got to see my beautiful sister/friend, Esther. We met in student housing at BYU when both of our husbands were in graduate school. Our friendship will out-last those fireproof steel doors of Wymount Terrace!

 

From our time spent in P-town, my life has been blessed with angels along the way: Margot, Sheila, Dara, Melody, Lisa Maree, Becky, Marin and the picture below: Sister Sherry Ritchie Platt!!

 

One SWEET experience was surprising Sherry and her family at Hailee's (Sherry's daughter) mission farewell. Sherry and I were mission companions in the New Zealand, Auckland mission. Twenty and some odd years later, Sherry makes me laugh just as hard! This past year, our daughters attended Utah State University together. Sherry is the friend that will move heaven and earth to let you know you are loved. 

My sister is the one that will move heaven and earth and a door or two to make you feel at home! 

 Thanks to Scott's sister, Deanna, The Lloyd family reunion at Heber Valley Camp was a great success! 

The Heber Valley Cabins were a great shelter during a welcome rain!

Bread-sticks not pictured.

After the reunion, we took the southern route back to Nor Cal and stopped in St. George, UT for a night. We enjoyed the washer and dryer provided at the hotel and we highly recommend the bread sticks from Pizza Factory!!

Our last big stop before returning home, Universal Studios, Hollywood

Gerry Beach, my dad's friend of 50 years plus, allowed us to stay in his home in Westminster, CA so we didn't have to take out a small business loan to house a family of seven in a Burbank hotel.

Overlooking the Valley outside of Universal Studios Hollywood.

 

One HUGE turkey leg and one HAPPY seventeen year old!

Girls on Scooters!

Natalie and I decided we would skip the "Walking Dead" ride.

The Millionaire (minus $700 for Universal Studio tickets!) and his wife.

We stopped by Seal beach before braving the rest of the drive back up I-5

In-spite of the 30 hours spent on the interstate, the band is grateful for their time together and plans on another "world tour" soon!!