Saturday, May 31, 2014

Through a Glass Darkly

I've been reading this book my sister sent me for my Birthday.  I like it. I like it because the author has some sound insight and I've had an epiphany while reading.

The book is about perspective. Our circumstances don't have to change in life, we need to change our perspective. Life can be painful and mundane. And if we are cynical and feel sorry for ourselves, we will live a very looooooong sad life. And those around us will feel our life is three times as loooooong. The author suggests our perspective should be the perspective of a heavenly parent. We should strive to see our lives through God's eyes. When we see our lives through tainted glasses of envy, comparison and fear, we lose our heavenly perspective.

I've always considered helping my kids very minimally with school projects a wise parenting choice. Yet, most times, I would come to school and feel shamed. I'll never forget Sarah's county project in Miss Kenny's 4th grade class. She had a flimsy poster board with her hand writing and some printed descriptions with black and white printed pictures. The other kids had sturdy fancy tri-fold posters, color printer pictures and candy or food as a part of their display! The next thing I knew, I was at the nearest grocery store and minutes later, returning to school with a bag of tootsie rolls to hand out to all those that passed by Sarah's project.

Fast forward eight years---Scott and I are sitting at Senior Honor's Night watching the same group of students receive ALL of the honors. Now, Sarah is a vigilant student and will graduate with honors. However, when the same boy was awarded every award/honor/scholarship (three scholarships BTW and one for $20,000)! I started to lose my perspective and had thoughts like: "Yeah, I bet his mom has connections with all of those organizations that is why he got those scholarships." By dissing his mother's motives and parenting skills, I thought I would feel better about myself, but I didn't.

I have had similar thoughts when I hear a parent has "made" their son get his Eagle scout award. Or when parents have gone to extremes, so their child can study piano, take dance or experience football camp. I've always thought- "Oh, poor parent, they are living out their wanna-be dream through their kid." And even more sad, "Poooooor kid, he has to live out his parents' dream of what could have been."

But as I read this morning, I had a different thought. Maybe, just maybe, these parents are doing exactly what the author Michelle Wilson is suggesting- seeing their children through God's eyes. These parents see their children's potential better than the child sees himself and so they encourage, suggest, rally and yes, even make their child get their Eagle scout award because they believe the child may start to see what they see, what God sees--an immense supply of potential.

Recently, I've questioned my motives for "encouraging" my kids to accomplish certain goals or tasks. I'm positive, my kids have questioned my motives as well. Am I looking at my children with fear, comparing them to others, comparing my parenting to others or...maybe, just maybe, I'm not as evil as they think?

 "For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known." 1 Corinthians 13:12

6 comments:

  1. So interesting! I struggle with knowing how much to help/encourage as well. I'm sure you are helping raise confident kids.

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  2. Hi Christie! I wish it was the lot of you coming this week! It will be nice to see Miles. Thank you for always showing interest in my musings...you are a true friend.

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  3. I had to think of you this afternoon when Macy started making her own poster for a report at school, and I let her! So glad it worked out for Myles to get to spend time with you guys. I'm sure it's a busy week for you with graduation and all. Can't wait to find out if CA will be the title of the next chap. of our lives!

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  4. Good job, Macy and Hooray for YOU, Christie!! It was really nice to have Myles here. We enjoyed his stories, his insight and he even tutored Natalie with her math! Hopefully, he is almost home now. Soon...(hopefully) we'll have ALL of you over!! Thank you for the chocolate!! I ate some at 9:40 in the morning!! German chocolate--breakfast of champions! love you.

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  5. Great post Susan! And great epiphany! I truly appreciate you sharing it! Yeah, the parenting thing is really hard! God really does see us so clearly. He doesn't 'make' us do things, but I think that's why He 'compels' us at times with circumstances, situations, and people. He allows us to experience things because He knows we will, if not in the middle, after the fact be grateful for it. I hope you like the book and wish you all the luck in your ephinanies!!

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  6. WOW!! Thank you, Michelle!! YOU are now on my list of "brushes with fame": Donny Osmond, Bobby McFerrin, Charlotte Rae (from The 1980's show, "The Facts of Life") and as of today--Michelle Wilson, author extraordinaire! And YOU are the only one that has actually "talked" to me. Thank you for sharing your talents, wisdom and most precious, your time. Gratefully, Your new fan club president.

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